When You Skip the Human Part

A while ago, I went to a panel hosted by an organization known for its community programming and course offerings.

That’s their thing: community.

Which made what happened next a little surreal.

I came to connect. They came to convert.

Within five minutes, three different people from the team pitched me the same thing.

“You should sign up.”
“This is exactly what you need.”
“Here’s a pamphlet. Go to our site.”

No questions. No small talk. No “what brings you here?”
Before I could respond, they had already moved on to someone else.

Later, I met the founder. Same rhythm. I got out my name and maybe half a sentence before the pitch started up again. Until a friend beside me interrupted and said,

“I think Izzy’s a bit past your target audience.”

At which point the tone flipped entirely.

“Oh! Maybe you could teach a workshop for us?”

That’s one way to cover all your bases.

Let’s talk about what this really was...

This wasn’t a conversation. It was a sorting process.
You’re either here to buy something, or to be of use. Preferably both.

No one asked what I do.
No one asked why I showed up.
There was no room to share what I might need or even what I was hoping to learn.
There wasn’t even time to breathe before the sales pitch landed.

And while yes, this happened to me, it could have happened to anyone. In that moment, I was the audience. And this is how the audience was treated.

Which brings us to the actual insight.

Two things stood out, both rooted in brand and community

1. Leading with assumptions is a trust killer

In branding, first impressions aren’t just visual. They are emotional and behavioural. When you skip the part where you understand who someone is, you’re not just being dismissive, you’re sending a message that your version of their needs matters more than theirs.

That’s not a pitch. That’s projection.

People don’t mind being offered something. What they mind is being told what they need before they’ve had a chance to speak.

That’s the difference between a conversation and a conversion attempt. And you can feel it immediately.

2. Being vouched for might change the outcome, but not the approach

When my friend stepped in, I was suddenly upgraded. From "potential buyer" to "potential speaker." But the interaction didn’t deepen. It just changed direction. Still no curiosity. Still no interest in what I actually do. Just a quick pivot to a more flattering assumption.

It was a reminder that surface-level credibility can get you attention. But if there’s no real follow-through, no listening, no engagement. It feels just as empty.

That’s not how trust is built. That’s how it’s bypassed.

So what does this say about community?

It’s easy to say your organization is community-focused.
It’s harder to make that real in every interaction.

Because community isn’t just about having people in the room. It’s about how you make them feel once they’re there.

And that’s where this fell apart.

There was no dialogue. No curiosity. Just a one-sided stream of offers, aimed at whoever walked through the door. The energy wasn’t “welcome in.” It was “how can we use this moment?”

That’s not community. That’s a funnel with friendlier branding.

And here’s the part that’s stuck with me: if no one had interrupted, nothing would have changed. I would have walked away holding a pamphlet and a weird feeling I couldn’t quite place.

The pamphlet's still in my tote, by the way.

Probably wondering what happened.
Same as me.

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