When You Skip the Human Part

A while ago, I went to a panel hosted by an organization known for its community programming and course offerings. Community is their whole premise, which made what happened next feel a little surreal.

I came to connect. They came to convert.

Within the first five minutes, three different people from their team pitched me the same thing. “You should sign up.” “This is exactly what you need.” “Here’s a pamphlet. Go to our site.” Each interaction followed the same rhythm. No questions, no small talk, no curiosity about why I had come. Before I could respond, they had already moved on to the next person.

Later in the evening, I met the founder. The same pattern repeated. I got out my name and maybe half a sentence before the pitch started again. A friend standing beside me finally interrupted and said, “I think Izzy’s a bit past your target audience.”

The shift was immediate.

“Oh! Maybe you could teach a workshop for us?”

That’s one way to cover all your bases.

Let’s talk about what this really was...

This wasn’t a conversation. It was a sorting process. You were either there to buy something or to be useful to them. Preferably both.

No one asked what I do. No one asked why I showed up. There was no space to share what I might need or what I was hoping to learn. The pitch arrived before the interaction had a chance to exist. And while this happened to me, it easily could have happened to anyone in that room. In that moment, I was simply part of the audience, and this is how the audience was treated.

Which brings us to the actual insight.

Two things stood out, both rooted in brand and community.

Two things stood out, both rooted in brand and community

1. Leading with assumptions is a trust killer

In branding, first impressions are not just visual. They are emotional and behavioural. When you skip the part where you understand who someone is, you send a clear message that your version of their needs matters more than theirs.

That’s not a pitch. That’s projection.

People don’t mind being offered something. What they mind is being told what they need before they’ve had a chance to speak. The difference between a conversation and a conversion attempt is something people feel almost immediately.

2. Being vouched for might change the outcome, but not the approach

When my friend stepped in, I was suddenly upgraded from “potential buyer” to “potential speaker.” The category changed, but the interaction didn’t deepen. There was still no curiosity and no real interest in what I actually do. The only thing that shifted was the assumption about how I might be useful.

Surface-level credibility can get you attention, but if there’s no listening and no engagement behind it, the interaction still feels empty.

That’s not how trust is built. That’s how it’s bypassed.

So what does this say about community?

It’s easy to say your organization is community-focused. It’s harder to make that real in everyday interactions.

Community isn’t just about having people in the room. It’s about how you make them feel once they’re there.

In this case, there was no dialogue and no curiosity. There was just a stream of offers aimed at whoever happened to walk through the door. The energy wasn’t “welcome in.” It was closer to “how can we use this moment?”

That’s not community.

That’s a funnel with friendlier branding.

And here’s the part that stuck with me. If my friend hadn’t interrupted, nothing about that interaction would have changed. I would have walked away holding a pamphlet and a strange feeling I couldn’t quite name.

The pamphlet's still in my tote, by the way.

Probably wondering what happened.
Same as me.

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